7
"ah," she
said, trying to pick herself up using her walker. There was almost
not enough energy left. Not enough muscle left to pick up her bag
of bones and stand up and then slowly, inch by inch, make her way
across the room. Accross my way, in front of the television I was
watching. But somehow there was still will. I don't really know
why. Maybe it was to make our lives that much more pathetic. That
much more unhappy by her unhappiness. She was the type of person
that you could wake up in the morning and find a five dollar bill
on the ground and feel like a million dollars (if you've ever found
a five dollar bill on the ground in the morning you know exactly
what I mean.), only to see that look on her face, that blank stare,
and then you want to dig a hole and bury yourself.
She read that book. The same book. I could remember her reading
that book for the 10 years that I could remember knowing her. I
guess her memory became so bad that she would read the same book
over and over again, not realizing it. It just happened to be sitting
next to her chair. Later when I went to see her she wouldn't realize
that it was me. I was perpetually two years old. "Is that you"
she'd say. "You have grown so much! Last time I saw you is
when you were only about this big." Then piss, shit, crap inside
her diaper.
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